Column – ‘Politically correct’ Easter is stupid

April 14, 2011 — Leave a comment

Originally published in The Daily Toreador.

Politically correct language is something that often makes sense, but just as often seems idiotic. Debates over PC terms seem to be most common with religious subjects, such as with the “war on ‘Christmas’” frustrations that seem to pop up every year.

Easter isn’t immune, either, as one Seattle school allegedly forces Easter eggs to be referred to as “spring spheres.”

Various websites have reported the story, including MyNorthwest.com, which has its origins in a 16-year-old school volunteer calling into a KIRO radio show to spill the beans on the renaming.

According to her, she asked school officials if it would be OK for her to give the students Easter eggs filled with candy. She was told that would be fine on the condition that she called them “spring spheres,” so as not to reference any particular religion.

Now, of course this is absurd in a lot of ways, one of which being that calling an egg a sphere doesn’t make it any less of an egg. You can’t call a Christmas tree a “winter triangle” and assume children aren’t going to catch on.

Obviously the children at the unnamed Seattle school weren’t fooled. When the teacher said to them, “Look, spring spheres!” they apparently said, “Oh, Easter eggs!”

If you’re going to enforce the separation of church and state, it might be best to focus on the things that are more tied to the church. Sure, Easter is a Christian holiday (or at least it has been since we stole it from pagan religions. Sorry, pagans.), but there isn’t really anything about an egg hunt that screams, “We love Jesus!”

Even if this particular story turns out to be untrue (it hasn’t been confirmed or denied), the city’s parks have reportedly removed “Easter” from all signs advertising upcoming egg hunts. I can see being wary about Christmas, considering one has “Christ” right there in the name. But are we really going to be afraid of a name that actually refers to a pagan goddess?

I have to imagine most atheists and people of other religions find this as silly as I do. Surely they’re not concerned their children will be converted by the mere acts of finding eggs and getting candy.

But maybe the school is right. Maybe we should stop calling secret content in pop culture (like movies or video games) “Easter eggs,” just to be on the safe side. We don’t want to corrupt unsuspecting minds when they find that Pizza Planet truck in every Pixar film.

Christians shouldn’t freak out over the attack on the word “Easter,” though. If anything, you could argue they should be fighting things like egg hunts themselves. Never mind presents obscuring the true message of Christmas, I think the Easter Bunny has more of a monopoly of Easter Sunday.

At the end of the day, this whole ordeal is just stupid, but it’s the kind of stupid we should probably just roll our eyes at rather than try to fight back against.

Britton Peele

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Freelance video game critic for sites like GameSpot and GamesRadar. Amateur fantasy author.

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